why can't i shake the feeling she's cheating

Do you fight because hes defensive? I found out this year when dodoinour taxes that had been sending her flowers for her birthday we are now five years away from the affair. My instincts told me something was wrong however I made every excuse and doubted what I felt .He came home distant and and quietly in the most unobvious ways, he neglected me but, was physically present. When i tell him if we want to save this relationship we have to go back to trying hard around each other, like when we were dating. My Fianc of over a year had an emotional affair. I almost hate him but in the same line I want us to work it out. I didnt think more of it cause she too was in the military. For example, are you telling yourself that his affair means he doesnt love you or doesnt love you enough? My husband still insists that he never cheated ( sure ) Right ?! No, I can't seem to shake this feeling Well, maybe it's time to start healing? I feel so angry and im not happy about it.. Because he cheated on me twice,even he made a promised the first time he cheated on me. Dont deny yourself those feelings because if you can work through them this could in the end bring you closer to forgiveness and the ability to move forward. He knew cheating was the one thing that would end our marriage for good.yet he still did it when we were going through a difficult time.rather than work things out. He sees a counselor and attends a weekly sex addicts group, but I still dont trust him and find myself lowering myself to checking his phone, emails, ect.. Her husband got a new job. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach over and over every time I thought if it . He is very remorseful and apologizing. In hindsight if i had put myself first in everything things would have been allot different. I urge you and your husband to find a couples counselor who can work with you on how to reconnect after an affair. So unless someone's actions mean 'change' real actions speak your truth Time will tell Good luck Confused Soul : ) "Ultimately these are people that you either feel fantastic . He was my best friend and now I feel so alone. I told my self it was because of work and an adjustment to being home. Tell him you look up to him as your husband and that he is a wonderful husband and a great father to your kids. Why do we women feel that we cannot live without these creatures who betray us? He has forever changed me. So few understand the damage broken trust can do. $('.submenu4').show(); I never told my husband because I did not want to hurt him. jQuery('#therapistSlider').hover( Its all day long. But he thought of nothing but the other women. My husband cheated on me with the world he told me he was doing it and I kind of knew but I could not put my finger on it.he has beat me time after time because he drinks and he just has a problem and I keep forgiving him because I want to work my marriage out but I hate having sex with him because I just dont see that in him anymore I feel like Im sleeping with the people he slept with and its so not a turn onhe is very controlling and he want me to be what he want me to be and do everything with him and I cant be a mother to my kids or nothing and when I dont do what he say its a problem I just think that things will never change and I dont know to run or stay I feel like a prisoner an Im living a dead womans life..help me, Thank you for your comment, Marie. But later his dad expired so left to his parents home again to be with his mom. Our Sorrowful Life And Happy Life Can Exist In Parallel. However, it's also common to doubt yourself when this fear crops up. He does NOT CARE 1 oz. I forward all mail letting him know that I knew what he had done. He still not ready to divorce me because of social reputation. Can't seem to shake the feeling that my dad is cheating. When I found out, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, (1) I psychologically tortured my husband by threatening him that I will expose him to his religious org, his relatives, our close friends, our children, etc. He will NEVER change. Her pants were not down but she buttoned it up while she was getting out of the car. i pulled her hair really good and slapped her. I am looking to talk to someone in my same situation. It scared me how intense it was and at that point he was not communicating so the third day I decided to start a journal . I wish I could go back and open up to her so maybe all of this would not have happened in the first place. He appeal to be sory and hurt by his actions but i dont trust him anymore. Wtf! If you could at least try to have this conversation then you may get some answers that will help you understand that motivation that he had and why he did this. My husband cheated on me when I found out I was very very angry and so I left the house foe 3 days had an affair with my ex boyfriend and after that I felt much better for me is the only way to forgive only given him a taste of his own medicine. He also has ruined her credit, filling out credit card applications without her permission and putting a lot of garbage in her name and then maxing them to the limit. I just dont know what to expect anymlre, because in the past, when I thought things were good, I always found out something new, which broke me down again, so now Im at this point where Im trying to be strong for our child and Im trying not to let myself think that things are all good just in case I find out something painful that hes lied about again. I tried having sex with last Saturday but it was not fun at all i was just imagining him on top of the OW, we tried again today but also ended in the sameway. Many and much never went beyond fantasy long story letters. She has a whole new set of friends and leaves you out of the loop. I have been married to my habitual cheater husband for almost 4 years now. He was the greatest in my eyes. Will you be able to eventually forget about this? I messaged back and said hello. Im also confused what to do, should I tell him to maintain the child? Cant be in the middle of it. I am ruining the very thing that I wanted to salvage. So what happens from here on out is on you just know that things only get harder before they get better, What u said is so true. Don't use sex to try to fix your relationship with your girlfriend. Now deep caring is much less. if ($(".submenu2").is(":hidden")) { I finally calmed down and started to fall asleep. Think about if (you can) continue on in your life while your living together one year in engaged in a dedicated Full 100% open & honest relationship with ( your Wife to be ) the Love of your Life with your fianc and her ( male friend that she admitted to kissing ) once as you mentioned as they are still friends ? I am now married to this man who I caught trying to arrange secret sex massages with women who are online. We keep things cordial we laugh and play with the kids take them out like were a family. Thanks for listening it is very therapeutic to get it out, in some ways putting it out there relinquishes some of the power it has over me. her husband knows because i told him but hes so stupid and forgave her and said he will try to save his marriage as well, but still allowed her to continue working there. but they work together (he is her boss). So Im soo angry and very sad at the same time. Single life is always an option. I look back at how hard we fought to be together and cant understand how or why he would destroy it all. Why do I think my girlfriend is cheating? - 7 Cups About 8 months ago she noticed he was changing. Sometimes I wonder if it is such a good thing to try to put a marriage back together again when there has been all of this hurt and loss of trust. All these years of marriage I told myself I was the reason for my husband unhappiness and everything he did was because of the person I am. After many tearful conversations he said that he has cut all ties with her and that he wants to make our marriage work but I just cant move on and the feeling of being compared to her overwhelms me. I like to think there is someone out there who will love and cherish me and adore me just as I will them. I completely lost it and ripped all his clothes on him and threw his clothes outside and made him go bare foot he cried so bad but I didnt care but got sensitive later and we slept separatelyour second year being married was hell and his mother made it worse for me. WITHOUT GOD THERE IS NO WAY I WOULD HAVE MADE IT. Yeah, right! He did have a heart attack during this process. Your once attentive girlfriend barely seems to look you in the eye these days. He is in a 12 step porn sexual addiction group to counsel him. Don't make any major decisions to break up, divorce, or move out right away. I no longer treat him like a King that I thought he was. I have been ill for quite sometime 1st with an accident at work which resulted to a slipped disc then lately been to A&E due to massive bleedingduring his past actions i have given him chance time and again but he breaks it on annual basis this year i just HATED him so much that i just want him to suffer and i am now turning into a monster who just want to gurt him as much as he hurts me. He said he ended it then; however, they still texted almost everyday. Here's why: It's not the act. We have been together for 15 years and married for 6. I CONSTANTLY PRAY AND PLACE MY LIFE BEFORE GODS FEET. I know exactly how you feel. He had affairs with two different women, one for 4 years and he ended that when starting a new affair in December 2020. I wished she had never came along with me to see what was happening. You might be tempted to have revenge sex or pay her back by seeking out a relationship of your own. Over several dinners I had showed his father and everyone else what I had signed. He is remorseful, and he is trying whatever he can to help me feel better. I cant seem to control my emotional turbulence. I dont understand how you could want to hurt him and yet keep him all at the same time. What were is his intentions? He could not destroy other plans just because he did something nice for some one else, HE said did I think it was being nice, if I did I was very wrong, he said I told you that the seconds I stepped off the plane he expected everything in our agreement to be lived up to, by this time his father, mother and aunt were out and his father sauid just what did he think he was doing, he said as soon as he dropped them off he was pointing the vans nose west to see his grandparents first in Wyoming, He told his mother they already knew his plans because they had asked him to stop. .footnote_container_prepare > p {border-bottom: 1px solid #aaaaaa !important;} let him suffer this life style with no love and connection. I know I have been a wonderful mom and a great wife. }); Shewas in my husbands unit, She was also half Hawaiian and half oriental. Jealous feelings can even strengthen romantic relationships in some circumstances. Hope things have moved on a in a positive way for you too. However, such actions will leave you with more problems to fix if you stay together. Build up your self esteem and take care of yourself. Let her go & find someone who will respect you & your feelings especially since she done you wrong & is the reason you feel the way you do! Or am I being used? She kept telling him to go back and figure it out. }); Please dont comment on this just to say hurtful things. This is such a difficult journey to make, I have done it, both my husband and I had affairs as a way of coping with the fact that neither of us were connecting anymore. Sex the first year was exciting because I felt like I had something to prove. These were taken before we married but we were still an exclusive couple. Answer: The question is, "Is this feeling of distrust your intuition, or are you projecting your fear (of not being good enough or your fear of loss) onto your spouse?" If your fears are. I am a Christian as well but my husband is not. One day I threatened him to give divorce and he came to me running to my home and stayed for 1.6 years. I feel ill everyday, We have been together for 19 years. Damn. My 7 year old wanted to come with, since its the park. We are doing intensive therapy separately and together- and its not the recommended course. How do I get my self-esteem back? Ive read so many articles about this and keep telling myself to just forget about it and move in on but honestly, its made me completely fall to pieces. Its a good sign if she does feel guilty and tells you the truth. if ($(".submenu4").is(":hidden")) { However I have not been able to get this other women out of my head and two nights ago he finally emitted that he had a one night stand with her. Sorry but I never got any compliments on my hair or weight as I started to try hard bc I was a good looking woman as I knew that yet I didnt feel the love or anything from him in a way or believe in my self as I was home sick a lot & tired with home bound bc we have a very hard situation ( longer story to explain to come ) in more details but still I have my stress factors that hit me with I found so many triggers as my husband still works at the same company as this now ex co-worker non friend as he stopped all the convos as well as they never have spoken since as I believe him but he knows its my request as if this hadnt been a secret casual work only friend only with never nothing on his phone or a text ever yes then I would not believe him bc no emails either as my hubby isnt into iPhones or technology like Facebook etc. Before this I would of said he would be out the door and no going back but not everything is so black and white when you find yourself in the unbelievable situation, best of luck for us both. The following month I found out I was pregnant and he continued with the relationship. Im considering this course of action but have heard mixed results- short-term satisfaction with long term regrets. I had just had a baby and we both nearly died in delivery and I was/am still having a hard time coping with that. You can do it, I did it and am still working on it. He had been talking to her for months before I caught on; and when I confronted him he lied. Just give her time it may take a long time but if you really want her dont stop trying to help her get THROUGH this. I have become a person I dont want to be. I met my husband in high school and we dated for 2 1/2 years before getting married. Theres nothing she can offer him as a friend thats worth your hurt. That Night I was trying to get him to met after the event, Talk his grievances out and come up with Some kind of solutions. I also started being more fun in bed. My anxiety is so high that my doctor put me on xanex!!! There's one particular person in our social circle (50ishF) and I just can't shake the feeling that he's cheating on me, with her. Jealousy rears its ugly head when someone perceives a threat to their relationship. I blamed myself mostly because he was telling me things like she has a really good heart he needed someone to love him and give him the attention he needed and appreciate what a good man he was what I wasnt doing those things. While I was going through this I decided to call the other woman one night and see what she had to say. I cried it was not fauir his father should ask this but he said socialy the only person in our marriage that had any consideration due was me, my husband just needed to learn to take things with a little grace and accept his role in life. I grabbed all his phones and found her under Cell, hme phone and 23 and 24 on every phone he had. There is no man worth any pain in this world. After years of pain, my husband distancing when he worked out of town I thought there was someone else. Find song by lyrics (Page 3) - Peterbe.com Having an open conversation with your husband about the time you need to work through your thoughts and feelings can be helpful. but he doesnt want to listen to me. Before you confront your BF, make sure that your partner is doing multiple of these things. It wasnt love like their relationship. How do I know that things have changed if he was always loving and attentive before and remains so now. It's just . Thankfully our child is still healthy after our 21 week ultrasound yesterday which is a relief considering the amount of pain and distress I have been under for most of this pregnancy (I initially found out when I was about 6weeks along). I just want to shut my brain off!!! It hits all people with equal force. I found out 3 months ago that my husband had been cheating. He said on his first overseas trip he want to be with other women but could not because he was married to me and felt that he was not ready for marriage kids and all that comes with it. All of this is very real and comes with legitimate emotional reactions. Last fall My last affair partner from 2009 appeared at our door, just wanting to see how I was doing after the violent way my husband ended our affair. To keep someone in her life who has violated your relationship with her is complete And its destroyed part of mine, but I wont allow it to destroy my whole life too. Dont let sex be the glue that binds you together. I dont wish him ill. We are starting counseling again, because there have been some issues that are deal breakers for me, where my H needs to get it together. Help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. Just trying to get others opionions for my own sake. new Date().getTime(),event:'gtm.js'});var f=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0], What goes around comes around. We had not gone out as a couple for 2yrs. When left unchecked, jealousy can lead to damaging behavior. How do I move on? I hope he has a change of heart one day and treats females better. The kids had no clue what was going on as I didnt want to distort their image of their Daddy. I cant get it out of my head. I was so angry again and he asked me to forgive him and not to do that again.. had repeatedly failed the last 24 years, In 2001 after a hole was drilled to the center of his head. I unfortunately did not find out about this until a few days ago (about 7 weeks after I got back from overseas) and it hurt so much all over again because he made me believe he hadnt seen her all that time after I initially found out. 7 Reasons Married People Cheat. Kept texting me to keep in contact but I knew something was up. Any advice would be appreciated. Hes 48 (with no kids, married twice) and he can one day watch me find happiness again while he grows old and lonely!! He was receiving late calls from this OW and that was how noticed that something was going on, i confronted him and he denied everything, i loved him so much so i believed what he said.he told me the OW was the calling him he had no idea what she wanted from him. I found out about the affair because a relative, his sister contacted me to say that seen photos of him on a popular social media site with a woman in rather compromising positions. I have been married 24 yes. The police woukld not stop things so his father just sat crying. Our sex life and relationship as a man and woman or as partners did not exist . My husband has given me the go ahead if thats what it takes for me to begin to heal. I woke up at 2:30 AM to find him gone. Eighteen months on she is still living with the consequences of the revelation and wants others to . And I instantly got a therapist who has helped tremendously; I seriously thought I was going crazy; I even began acting crazy (drunk texting him the craziest things, exposing him through fake facebook pages, trying to communicate with him through a fake instagram, driving on the wrong side of the road.like ***), my self esteem, confidence, peace, and happiness was destroyed in the process. And what really scared us was her contacting his baby mot her via fb and sending her messages containing truth and lies. The betrayal, lies, manipulation and YES the act of sex has turned me off. He told me her pitiful life story Ive seen this women around I want to ask her if she had sex with him but dont no how. It has been 4 years since I was cheated on by my boyfriend (I of course refuse to marry him) Im still with and I still get mad about it but luckily not as much. We've been together for almost 5 years, she's never given off the impression that she would be disloyal in any way, UNTIL, about 3 weeks ago a series of a few very sketchy events happened. im still so angry and I have my moments of acting out of my character im still so hurt and he doesnt understand the pain it just wont go away I feel like he will do it again I want to trust him but im to afraid to let my guard down How do I let this go and be happy I try to hide the pain behind things I dont let him see me cry im always on edge im angry how do I let it go, So beautifully penned down. Hey, Im sorry that youve been through all of this but if youre strong enough to stay by a cheating man knowing he wont change and he doesnt care, then your strong enough to take your child and leave. I discovered he was texting some woman he works with. My core sense of being a woman did not exist anymore and I turned to another man at a very low point and had sex with him. If you have no children and your boyfriend or spouse cheats- do yourself a favor and run far and fast. If you find that your girlfriend has been sexually active with another partner, the first thing you should do is to see your doctor and ask for a full STD screen to ensure that you haven't contracted any diseases. I do feel that it would make me feel better though. He still denied it, said he fell for her but no physical involvement. He never showed concern for my health and paid no attention to me needs. I swear I was crazy. I have been trying to forgive. I just sat there looking at the phone knowing he had enough to hang me, his father and many other out to dry for civil rights violations when all we tried to do was get a little compassion. At the Interment He was asking if I just could not have him jailed for the things hes done or at least a Confinment in a mental institution. I really dont understand whats in his mind Im at that point that I have so much anger in me. this was a direct slap to his father who was known to be a race purist. And there it it was. shifts, holidays he wanted, weekends and nobody could ever convince him to let people with greater needs have the spring summer and early fall vacations and Take the weeks after the holiday shut down week. I never trust him and we fight frequently. ", "Someone's cheating has nothing to do with the way you look, your value, or your personality. But apparently he doesnt and probably gets it because I was missing it for years and still stuck by him when it turned out he was getting his physical and apparently emotional as well, according to the screen shots she emailed to me. I am trying to be positive. Sonetimes he makes me more angry when he said if you dobt trust me leave me, im not forcing you to stay with me. He treated me great and when he met my boys, he was incredible with them. All this time I though my beloved husband was stressed from his demanding job and I needed to be supportive and not be demanding but be accommodating. I will be praying for you and especially for HIM. Answer (1 of 5): You're in a really painful place! It's too soon totellif the relationship will end, but it doesn't hurt to investigate your legal rights, even if you hope to reconcile. this continued but he hid it from me when I found out I burst into tears and threatened to leave it seemed as if he was trying to find a wife from his country. It's important to recognize when you don't feel safe with your partner regardless of whether shes cheating or not. I know my husband is a very good man and father yet as my husband this was not acceptable to have this secret friend I knew nothing of for years .We were at talk low point in our marriage I think never talking or being a dating married couple as We lost I think our connection together as best friends are supposed to still do things with each other ( we hadnt been out ) on a date for ages or went to no work functions for years either as like I said I was very ill with that Cancer stuff with kids with a lot of needs we were over whelmed yet he also was tired and maybe felt he needed an ear with this woman as she Im sure loved my hubbys convos because he keeps so private yet he never mentioned me at all he said with her bc he didnt like anyone in our personal business from work and so I found out about this friend in April or May 2015 bc I still dont know what to think about this situation yet I gate him some days and live for the love we have still yet I will never be the Same Woman and person as I had to accept that this was an emotional affair bc I couldnt prove they had sex or anything other than a work thing so I am still very scarred to this day today and struggle with this every other day or week and what to think ? I have good days and all of a sudden I go back to pissed mode. Your relationship has been damaged. He refuses to admit to the affair. They were very hard to manage they would threaten to kill each other lie steal. Nearly four years ago . I keep feeling like we fall apart Better than we fall in love I keep feeling like we fall apart And then we got to fight to fall back in love . Not even a full 3 weeks of marriage he takes off on me to go drinking and slept with some homewrecker.who is known for being one who gets around. He was in love with her. Sometimes, you need some quirky, feel-good romance that is not too "filmy." Romance comes in all shapes and sizes, from "love at first sight" to "happily ever after." But Netflix's Indian original romance drama anthology series 'Feels Like Ishq' always stays grounded, even when it emanates a feeling of pure euphoria. Ive poured my heart out to her and said I want this to work. Before you confront him, don't make these three mistakes that women make all-too-often when they suspect their man is cheating. I hope you find a way to work through this with him or without. Its been two months but the pain still feels so fresh. He apologized so much for what he done and wanted to continue our marriage sessions. Bought it again. It has been a little over 3 years since he came home after being gone for a month and I too was not emotionally ready, but I dont think anyone really ever is. Between no sleep and I looked like I had been beaten because my eyes were so swollen from crying I couldnt exactly go into the office.
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